So if you're fed up with childish talk and fights all around you, or you want to be more respected by people, try some of these ways to learn how to become more mature. Regardless of your age, you will always appear mature to those around you if you have matured.

Steps

Develop mature behavior

Develop your interests. Lack of dynamics or developed interests or hobbies can make you appear immature. If you find something that gives you pleasure, and you become a "professional" at it, then this way you will look more experienced and mature. It will also give you new things to talk about with other people, whether or not they share your passion.

Set goals for yourself and work towards achieving them. Part of maturity is the ability to embrace your existing strengths, identify areas where you need to improve even more, and set goals for the future. Keep the future in mind and let it properly illuminate your decisions in life. Once you have set clear, achievable, and measurable goals for yourself, start working to achieve them.

Learn to recognize when it's okay to fool around. You don't have to be serious all the time to appear mature. True maturity involves understanding the appropriateness of behavior and knowing when to fool around and when to be serious. It's good if you manage to be frivolous at different levels in order to be able to reduce your mood to fool around to different scales.

• Try to set aside time each day to just relax. You need time to let off steam and relax. Give yourself some time (say, after school) to play pranks from the heart.
• It should be understood that your frivolity is not always suitable for official situations, for example, at school, in church, in the workplace, and especially at funerals. You will be expected to show attention, not pranks. So frivolity in such situations usually signals the immaturity of a person.
• However, in informal situations, such as with friends or even family, it is appropriate to fool around. It may even bind you even more strongly to each other.
• Set some criteria for yourself so that you know when it's okay to be frivolous or joke, and when not. Do not allow yourself jokes and pranks of a mean or degrading nature.

1. Respect others. We all need to live in peace with each other. If you do something to intentionally annoy others, or if you don't take other people's feelings into account in any of your actions, then people around you may look at you as immature. Try not to forget the needs and desires of others, this will help you create a reputation for yourself as a mature and worthy person.

   • Being respectful to others doesn't mean you have to let your feet get wet. This means that you need to listen to others and treat them the way you would like to be treated. If other people are rude or unkind to you, don't do the same to them. Show that you are above this by leaving them.

2. Choose mature friends. Your friends influence your behavior. Make sure you hang out with people who make you better, instead of spending your time with people who drag you back.

   Develop emotional maturity

   1. Don't become a bully and don't engage in bullying. Aggression often stems from feelings of insecurity or low self-esteem. It can become a way of expressing and asserting one's power over others. Aggression harms those at whom it is directed and also harms the one who expresses it. If you notice aggressive behavior in yourself, talk to someone you trust, such as your parents or school counselor, about how to stop it.

      Don't gossip, spread rumors, or talk about people behind their backs. Gossip, spreading rumours, and talking behind your back can hurt others just as much as if you punched them in the face, if not more. Even if you gossip without malicious intent, it can also be harmful. Mature people show concern for the needs and feelings of others, and do not do things that can hurt.

      If someone treats you unkindly, be above it. If you can, don't answer; your silence will signal that what the person is saying is not normal. If you can't miss it like that, just tell the person that their comment was rude. If the person apologizes, accept the apology; if not, just leave.

      Be open to new things . Mature people are always open. Don't ignore or dismiss an opportunity simply because you've never heard of it or never tried it. Instead, see it as an opportunity to learn something (or from someone) new and different.

      • If someone has beliefs or habits that differ from yours, don't immediately start judging that person. Instead, ask open-ended questions such as "Will you tell me more about this?" or “Why are you doing this?”
      • Try to listen more and talk less, at least at first. Don't interrupt people and don't say "I think...". Let them talk. You will be surprised by what you find out.
      • Ask for clarification. If someone says or does something that doesn't seem right, ask for clarification before judging. For example, if you think someone has insulted your beliefs, take a deep breath and then say something like, “I heard you say ______________ . Are you sure that's what you meant?" If a person says that he meant something completely different, accept his words.
      • Don't expect the worst from people. Participate in the situation, expecting that everyone is the same person as yourself. They may not have intended to hurt or hurt, but they can make mistakes too. Learning to accept people for who they are will help you become more mature.
      • Sometimes you just won't agree with someone. This is fine. Sometimes you just have to agree or refuse - this is inherent in maturity.

   2. Be confident . You don't have to apologize for any quirks or oddities you have, even if others don't approve of them. As long as your behavior is not contrary to social norms and does not harm anyone, you are free to express your individuality. Mature people don't doubt themselves and don't try to be what they aren't.

      Be yourself. An indicator of maturity is the ability to remain true to oneself. You can be confident without any arrogance or pomposity. A mature person does not need to smash others to smithereens or play something out of himself.

      Take personal responsibility. Taking responsibility for your words and actions is perhaps the most important part of becoming mature. Remember that everything with you it doesn't just happen. In your own life, you are the disseminator of information. Both your words and actions have consequences, both for yourself and for others. Be honest when you make mistakes. Realize that you cannot control others, but you can control your actions.

      • Take responsibility if something goes wrong. For example, if you wrote an essay badly, don't blame the teacher. Think about what your actions led to this result. What can you do better next time?
      • Concentrate less on whether some things are fair. Life is not always fair. Sometimes you don't get what you deserve. Mature people don't let injustice get in the way of their goal.
      • Control what you can. Sometimes you will feel like you have no control over your life. Sometimes it is. You can't control a restaurant manager to hire you, or a person you like to agree to take you for a walk. But there are things you can control. For example:
        • For work: You can polish and make adjustments to your resume. You can prepare as best you can for the interview. You can dress like a professional for an interview. You can arrive on time. In the end, you may not get a job, but control all your preparations.
        • For relationships: You can be respectful, funny, and kind. You can hold yourself together next to another person. You can be sensitive and tell him/her that you want a relationship. Here's what you can control. Even if something didn't work out, you can relax, realizing that you've been honest with yourself and tried your best.
      • Don't accept defeat. Most of the time, people give up because it's easier than trying again. It's easier to tell yourself "I'm a loser" than "well, that approach didn't work, let's see what else I can do." Take responsibility for your choices and choose to keep trying, no matter what it is.

   Communicate like an adult

   1. Control yourself . Anger is a powerful emotion, but it can be tamed. Do not overreact to minor and unimportant things. When you feel energized, stop and silently count 10 seconds to consider your response before you speak. This will prevent you from doing things you will regret and will allow you to become more mature in communication.

      • After you stop, ask yourself what is really going on. What is the real problem with what is happening? Why are you upset? You may find yourself angry about something that happened a couple of days ago that really isn't worth trashing your room.
      • Think of a potential solution to the problem. Before choosing any method, think about the different options. Which one will handle what's going on?
      • Think about the consequences. This is exactly what most people stumble over. “Doing what I want” is often considered the most attractive solution, but will it really solve the problem? Or will it make it worse? Think about what the outcome of each of the possible ways might be.
      • Choose a solution. After you have considered the possible consequences of each option, choose the one that seems best to you. Please note that this is not always the easiest or most fun way! And that, too, is part of growing up.
      • If you need to say something, say it in a calm voice and back it up with a few reasonable arguments to justify your feelings. If the person just wants to argue rather than listen, move away from the conflict. It's not worth it.
      • When you are angry or overreacting, take a deep breath and count to 10. You must maintain self-control and not let anger get the better of you.
      • If you are quick-tempered, then those around you may be amused by provoking you. If you control yourself, they will lose interest in what they are doing and leave you alone.

   2. Learn assertive communication. When adults want to communicate seriously, they use assertive techniques and behaviors. Assertiveness is not the same as being cocky, arrogant, or aggressive. Individuals with this quality express their feelings and needs clearly, and they listen when others do the same. Arrogant and selfish people don't care about the needs of others and are only focused on getting what they want when they want it - no matter what makes others unhappy. Learn to stand up for yourself without being arrogant or aggressive and you will definitely feel more mature. Here are some ways to communicate in an assertive style:

      • Use "I" statements. “You” statements make the person feel like they are being blamed and rejected. Keeping your attention on what you are feeling and experiencing allows you to remain in a productive, mature way of communicating.
        • For example, instead of telling your parents, “You never listen to me!” try using an "I"-statement like "I don't think anyone heard my point of view." When you make it clear how you feel, the other person is likely to want to know why you feel the way you do.
      • Recognize the needs of others as well. The world does not revolve around you. It's good to be clear about your feelings and emotions, but also remember to ask others about their needs. The ability to put others first is the real mark of maturity.
      • Do not rush to conclusions. If you're not sure what happened, ask! Do not judge in advance - remember, you do not have complete information.
        • For example, if your friend forgot that you were going shopping together, don't think that he doesn't think about you or that he is a terrible person.
        • Instead, use an “I” statement as an invitation to a friend to express their feelings: “I was really upset when you couldn't go shopping. What's happened?"
      • Offer cooperation to others. Instead of saying “I want to go skateboarding”, ask others to participate in it: “What would you like to do?”

   3. Stop cursing . For many people in many cultures, mature communication means no swearing, especially swear words. Using foul language can shock those around you, or even make them feel like you don't respect them. It can also make others think that you are incompetent or unable to communicate. Instead of swearing, try to expand your vocabulary. As you learn new words, use them to express your thoughts and feelings.

      • If you curse a lot when you're upset or hit, try turning it into a game, instead of cursing come up with unusual expressions. Instead of cursing when you hit your foot, it's a lot funnier (and more emphatic) if you say something out of the ordinary like "Stupid monkeys!"

   4. Speak politely without raising your voice. If you raise your voice, especially when you're angry, it's likely to make those around you feel uncomfortable. They may even decide to ignore you. Scream is for babies, not adults.

      Watch your body movements. Your gestures can say as much as your words. For example, if you cross your arms in front of you, then this may tell others that you are not interested in their words. If you stand slumped during a conversation, this indicates that you are actually "not here" or want to be somewhere else. Study your body signals and make sure it says what you want to express.

      • Instead of crossing your arms in front of you, leave them relaxed on both sides of your body.
      • Stand straight, do not stoop, keep your head parallel to the floor.
      • Remember that your face can also give signals. Don't roll your eyes or look at the floor.

   5. Talk to people about serious topics. Such topics can be considered school, news, life experiences and life lessons that you have learned. Of course, you can take some time to joke around with your friends. It all depends on your environment. You may not want to talk about the same topics with your best friend and math teacher.

      • Ask questions. One of the signs of maturity is curiosity. If you only talk about yours, you will not appear mature. Engage others in the conversation. If someone tells you something interesting, ask them to tell you more about it!
      • Don't pretend you know something you don't really know. Admitting that you don't know something can be difficult. After all, you really need to become mature and informed. But pretending to know something will only make you look (or feel) stupid. It's much better to say something like, "I haven't read about it yet. Must see!"

   6. Say nice things. If you can't say something positive, it's best to keep quiet. Immature people are constantly criticizing something and pointing out the shortcomings of other people, and do not hesitate to say things that are hurtful in every sense. Sometimes they justify their cruelty by saying that they are "just being honest." Mature people choose their words carefully and don't offend people in their quest to be honest, so remember to watch your words and not say things that might hurt others. Treat others the way you would like them to treat you.

      Learn to sincerely apologize for your mistakes. . No matter how conscientious you are, from time to time you say something hurtful or unwittingly offend other people. We all do stupid things sometimes, because no one is perfect. Learn to control your pride and say, "I'm sorry." A sincere, honest apology for your statement or action will demonstrate your maturity.

   7. Be mature about both compliments and criticism. If someone compliments you, say "thank you" and nothing else. If someone criticizes you, be polite and say something like, "Ok, I'll definitely think about it." Perhaps the criticism is wrong, but if you take it politely, you will look mature in that moment.

      • Try not to take criticism personally. Sometimes, people may try to help and express themselves incorrectly. If you think this is the case, ask for clarification: “I heard you didn't like my essay. Could you be more specific about this so I can take it into account in the future?”
      • Sometimes criticism tells us a lot more about the person giving it than about you. Whether it comes across as unfair or hurtful, remember that the other person may just be trying to make themselves look better by tearing you apart. Don't let this affect you.
      • Accepting criticism politely doesn't mean you can't stand up for yourself. If someone hurts your feelings, tell them in a polite and calm tone: “I'm sure you didn't mean it, but when you criticized my appearance, it hurt me a lot. Next time, could you refrain from commenting on my appearance?"
   • Be kind, understanding friends and everyone! Be kind not just one day, but all the time.
   • It is difficult to acquire maturity. However, don't change yourself to become mature. Instead, strive to be who you are and be good. No more questions about who is older and who is younger. If you want people to take you seriously, think about how to act so that you are heard, just remember that once you take the first step, you need to stand firm and not change your mind. If something went wrong - try to remain calm and think about the next step, do not blame others, because you are doing an act, and you are responsible for it. Be mature and responsible.
   • When you are in conflict with someone, do not argue, but try to resolve it in a calm, rational way. If it escalates into an argument, end it as soon as possible.
   • Treat others the way you would like to be treated. This is mostly considered a definition of maturity.
   • Write down your goals in order to become more mature, and plan your actions to achieve them. For example, you may decide to be quiet instead of talking about yourself all the time. Work on it for a week and then evaluate the result. Even if you're not perfect at it at first, keep trying.
   • Show mercy. Even if someone doesn't deserve a second chance, give it. It will make you greater and more mature.
   • You should know how to look in different situations. Spiked orange hair can express your personality, but if you work in a formal setting, this appearance can lead others to think that you are an immature person, even if you are not.
   • Try to focus your attention on other people's questions. This will make you appear more mature.
   • Punctuality is a virtue!

Good day, dear readers. Today we will answer the question of how to mature psychologically. You will learn what signs characterize a mature person, find out what may indicate immaturity. Read on for some valuable advice on this subject.

The difference between an adult and a child

1. He has life experience behind him, knows a lot about real life.
2. Able to restrain emotions when in public.
3. He understands that it is necessary to behave culturally, because he is a conscious member of society.
4. Responsible for his own life, as well as for his loved ones.
5. He doesn't depend on anyone, he is his own support.

Criteria of psychological maturity and signs of immaturity

In the modern world, there is an illusion that the stage of growing up is bad, it is better to stay in childhood as long as possible. In fact, it's long past time for many people to get rid of their rose-colored glasses and realize that childhood is over and there are many benefits to adulthood. Various opportunities open up before an adult, he can make certain plans and make his dreams come true.

According to a number of psychological studies, the criteria for maturity are:

• the ability to constructively interact with the outside world;
• responsibility for what happens;
• unwillingness to shift their guilt or mistakes onto someone;
• the ability to resist psycho-emotional stress, to cope with it;
• the opportunity to realize themselves in professional activities;
• the ability to understand other people, to feel love for them;
• the ability to make rational decisions, deliberate and balanced.

A person who meets the above criteria is a psychologically adult person. If there is infantilism, then this individual is stuck in childhood.

If we consider psychological immaturity, then there are a number of signs that characterize this state.

1. Indecision. Faced with a problem, the individual cannot make a choice, he is afraid of possible mistakes.
2. Irresponsibility. A person constantly shifts to someone making decisions, especially the most important ones in his life. He does this in order to get rid of responsibility for possible consequences.
3. Excessive pity for oneself, the need to blame everyone around, but not oneself. To such an individual, the world seems unfair. A person begins to blame all his problems in adulthood on his parents.
4. categorical judgments. If adults can respond flexibly to various events, then a person who is still psychologically immature begins to divide the world into black and white, there is confidence that his own position is correct, and the opinion of other people is wrong.

How to grow up

1. Try to come to terms with the "child" that lives in your soul, leave it in the past. It is known that a person who suffered some kind of psychological trauma in childhood remains a “child” for a long time, he is sure that it is easier to live this way. Over time, the mask of the "baby" merges with the image of the individual. Then on the face of manifestation, fear of making one's own decisions, inability to sensibly evaluate actions, constant escaping from responsibility. In this case, a person must realize that he has already grown up, that he has other needs, and one must forget about that “child” that is hidden somewhere deep.
2. Analyze your family history. There are cases when a person who was brought up in a too authoritarian family cannot grow up, he was not given the opportunity to make decisions. When such an individual grows up, he does not know how to be an adult and responsible. In such a situation, the best solution is to seek the help of a psychologist who will help you realize that the time has come to grow up and take responsibility, becomes independent.
3. Realize that it is unacceptable to avoid problems, to constantly run away from them. You have already grown up and must make decisions on your own, faced with difficulties, solve them.
4. Get rid of . Learn to be flexible in dealing with different people.
5. Learn to take responsibility. This is the first criterion for growing up. As an adult, you need to know what you want from life, what you need to do in order to get a result. It is necessary to understand that if you take responsibility for yourself, you save other people from making your decisions. Naturally, there was a time when all important issues were decided instead of you by your parents. Now the moment has come when you yourself must make your choice.
6. Learn to do everything yourself. It is necessary to understand that adults are able to take care of themselves. A girl at the age of 18 should already know at least the basic principles of how to cook food, it is desirable that a guy at that age also knows how to take care of himself, and it is desirable to provide. Don't rely on someone else to help. It is worth considering such situations when a girl who devoted herself to a child and family, did housework, never worked, at some point she remains alone, for example, her husband leaves her. What then remains for her to do, and even one with children? You need to grow up in time and not hope that in which case someone will help.
7. Pay attention to those around you. It must be understood that the environment greatly affects human behavior. But do not think that people who drink alcohol or those who smoke will help grow up. No, here we are talking about adults, self-sufficient people who know what they want from life and strive to achieve their goals.
8. Parents may wonder how to grow up a girl, if their daughter sits on their neck and does not want to do anything, move on, as they say, well settled. You need to understand that such behavior is unacceptable, that the young lady needs to decide what she wants to achieve in life. Perhaps at the moment there are no hobbies, interest in some kind of work. So it's time to find yourself. It is important to decide on a field of activity that will be interesting, and start working in this direction.
9. Set achievable goals for yourself. After completing them, move on to the aspirations that will take longer to achieve. Never stop there, keep moving forward.
10. Learn to take care of yourself and your loved ones.
11. Learn to plan your day, distribute important and not so important things, learn to control your financial situation, be sure to devote time to sports, proper nutrition and healthy sleep.

When you realize that you are not psychologically mature, you should understand that you have a very long and hard work ahead of you, which will not be done in one day, it may take a week, or even a month. The main thing is to set yourself this goal and go towards its achievement, do not break under the difficulties that arise.

Now you know how to mature a guy or a girl psychologically. As you can see, quite a lot of representatives of today's youth continue to remain in "childhood", at times they do not want to grow up consciously. However, it should be understood that this process is necessary. A person must grow up, develop, take responsibility. Over time, when children appear, you will have to become a mentor for them, a person from whom you need to take an example. Therefore, it is very important to be able to become an adult, not only externally, but also psychologically.

Instruction

Get used to solving all your problems yourself. Do not shift work on some issues to other people, do not try to avoid making responsible decisions. A truly adult person is responsible for his words and actions. He does not look for the guilty and relies only on his own strength. When you treat life the same way, then you will understand to be a mature person.

Know how to provide for yourself. Find a job that will generate enough income for you to meet all your basic needs. A person who constantly borrows money and depends on his parents cannot be considered an adult. If, despite having a permanent job, you cannot meet your personal budget, you need to either increase your income or cut expenses by reviewing some habits. The ability to manage finances distinguishes an adult.

Learn to control yourself. An adult is distinguished by the ability to control his own emotions. This is especially true for negative feelings. The explosive character and inability to behave in society suggests that you are not a mature person, but a capricious child. Realize the need to manage your emotions and not let them overwhelm your consciousness. Then you will show yourself as a responsible, adult person.

Stop living in a fantasy world. Take off your rose-colored glasses and look at the surrounding reality objectively. Stop being overly naive. Don't let yourself be fooled. An adult is critical of the words of other people, does not take everything on faith and checks the facts before trusting them. Don't let others influence your opinion. Learn to recognize attempts to manipulate you and suppress your will. Always think about what ulterior motives others may have.

Learn to protect yourself from negativity. This is not about hitting back everyone who offends you, but about the correct reaction to the negative moments in life. You should not take to heart the annoying little things that happen every day, and get upset over trifles. Learn to morally isolate yourself from the onslaught of the outside world. Otherwise, you face real stress. Take care of yourself.

Develop your system of principles. Act according to your worldview and do not betray your views. An adult has his own point of view on every issue that concerns him in one way or another. Get used to thinking, deciding what is best for you, how to do the right thing. Feel free to justify your opinion. Learn to think.

In modern society, there is an illusion that growing up is bad, but remaining a child is good. But in reality, it’s time for many to take off their rose-colored glasses, childhood is over! Otherwise, you will miss all the colors and beauty of adult life, remaining on the bench of losers. Stop sitting in the nest. You are not a chick. You have grown up.

“It would not be entirely true to say that some time ago I was wild and reckless, but now I have calmed down and become an adult. In fact, now I am even bolder and stronger than before. I make riskier and more responsible decisions. It seems to me that over the years my life in all its manifestations becomes more and more extreme.” Angelina Jolie

"Don't grow up. It is a trap!" - Peter Pan, the most persistent lover of childhood, argued. But is it really so? Memories from childhood always warm our souls, but that's how it should be. Memories from adulthood will not be worse, but better if you can grow up in time. To become an adult, it is not necessary to kill the child in yourself. Just think it's time to move on. New peaks, new victories, new successes and new impressions are waiting, and you are trampling near the main entrance, clinging to the past.

This is your world. If you become an adult, you will see all the possibilities and roads. You will be able to make plans and fulfill all your dreams. You can become yourself and who you have always dreamed of. It's time to grow up! Who does not do this, he will remain on the bench of losers. Stop sitting in the nest. You are not a chick.

Life and growing up

“Growing up means one thing - independence. We all want it. Sometimes we use other people to get it for ourselves, sometimes we find it in each other, sometimes our independence comes at the price of something else, and that price can be high. fight. Never give up, never back down…” Gossip Girl

Sitting under the wing of parents is good and cozy. Everything is decided for you and protected from dangers. But you can't sit in a nest all your life. It's time to be independent and learn to fly. At first, you will be cold and uncomfortable, but everyone goes through it. It's time to learn to make decisions on your own, learn to be yourself, understand yourself, achieve goals and follow your own path. It's time to grow up!

You are responsible for everything that happens around you.
Being lazy and lacking initiative is the lot of losers
No one owes you anything, you build your own happiness
Bad habits like smoking, alcohol, etc. don't make you mature and cool
Every decision you make has long-term consequences.
Selfishness, selfishness, shortsightedness and stupidity are synonyms

Be yourself
Set goals, make plans and achieve your dreams
Someone else's opinion is the least that should worry you
Be smarter and more active
Keep your nose up, smile more and be positive

Love and growing up

“At different times and with different people, but it happens to everyone. The worst part of growing up is heartbreak, but that's part of life..." Angela Calderon

We usually feel like we're starting to grow up when we get our hearts broken. But there's nothing wrong with that. As children, we broke our knees and skinned our hands while learning to ride a bicycle. It hurt, there were tears, there was a desire to quit. But we have learned. Our parents and friends helped us. But how much joy we began to deliver the ability to ride a bicycle. We drove with friends around the yards for distillation, enjoyed the speed of movement, rolled our comrades, traveled to the river and to the forest. There were falls and then, but we learned to endure pain. Falls are part of cycling. So it is with love. Over time, you will learn and enjoy.

Adult relationships and love are different from teenage ones. It's time to be more experienced, reasonable, careful and smart.

A pretty face or leg length is not the main thing in a person
Sex cannot be the only engine of a relationship.
Don't waste time on hopeless love and relationships

Relationships are Responsibility
Fear of commitment is immaturity
Excessive jealousy is not love, but your insecurities
Selfishness and pulling the blanket in a relationship will not end well.
Understanding and willingness to compromise is vital

"You feel like you're growing up little by little, but damn it, one day it'll lash you like a branch in the forest let go by the one in front" Fall in love with me if you dare

If you don't grow up on your own, one day life will hit you like a branch. Grow up yourself. It is in your power to become what you have dreamed of being since childhood. Your dreams are only in your hands. Stop sitting in the nest. You are not a chick. You have grown up. You are an eagle...